Table of contents:
- 2. He is unhappy with your progress
- 3. He is not with you when you need it
- 4. He does not respect boundaries
- 5. Listener or interlocutor?
- 6. He can't be trusted
- 7. You are uncomfortable
- 8. He absolutely doesn't know you
- 9. You feel guilty
- 10. He reminds you of mistakes
- 11. He slows you down
- 12. He gossips
2023 Author: Alfred Shackley | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 13:14
Unfortunately, among the people whom we consider friends, there are "fakes", from communication with whom there are more minuses than pluses. Learn how to spot bad friends in this article.
It is very difficult to correct a person, and everything except an attempt to eliminate negative qualities in him is selfishness. However, if you have repeatedly told your friend that you do not like some elements of your communication, but he does not even try to fix it, he probably does not care about you.
2. He is unhappy with your progress
Envy is a feeling inherent to one degree or another to many people. Some people understand that they are envious, but they cannot fix themselves. The fact is that even an envious person will hide his vice so as not to offend a friend. He will be sad when he comes home, he will feel uncomfortable, but he should not try to break you, ignore or react negatively to the news of success, try to reduce the pleasure of the peaks reached to nothing.
3. He is not with you when you need it
If every time you need support, the person ignores you and avoids communication in every possible way, not wanting to hear about your problems, he is a bad friend. But perhaps you too often complain about life, he listens every time, and so, one day he refused, not wanting to spoil his mood today?
4. He does not respect boundaries
You have said more than once that you do not want to discuss a topic, but he comes back to it. You hate jokes about you, but he can't help joking. If the person does not want to hear about your needs at all, then it is worth reconsidering your friendship with him.
5. Listener or interlocutor?
Every time you talk to a friend, he talks about his life, complains about his problems, shares his successes. When you try to talk about yourself, he responds with short dry phrases, expresses disinterest. In percentage terms, talking about you and talking about him at best - 35% versus 65%. When you forcefully direct the conversation to yourself, he interrupts and waits for you to finish speaking. If so, the person probably needs a listener, not an interlocutor. He is not interested in dialogue.
Sometimes people do not even notice that they are talking too much about themselves, ignoring the interlocutor. You do not need to immediately interrupt communication. Calmly inform your friend about the problem and your attitude towards it. Perhaps he will change his behavior.
6. He can't be trusted
Think, can you consider your friend reliable? Is he lying to you? Promises something, but doesn't keep his word? Does your friend avoid communication all the time when you need support? There is no need to dwell on a few episodes from life - sometimes everyone is wrong. Analyze several months of communication. If during this time your friend has often let you down, he is a "fake". You have two choices: either stop relying on the person and communicate with him purely for a pleasant pastime (going to the cinema or to a party together), or stop communication altogether.
7. You are uncomfortable
If you feel unwell, sad, or annoyed every time you talk to a friend, something is wrong. Analyze your feelings and try to find the problem. Maybe during the whole conversation, you felt that your friend was uninterested in you, or that he offends you with something every time? Communication with friends should bring mostly positive emotions.
8. He absolutely doesn't know you
You don't wear makeup, but a friend gives you eyeshadow or eyeliner? Are you a vegetarian but got a meat grinder as a gift? They don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but it’s better to take a closer look at a friend, because he just showed you that he doesn’t know you a bit and, apparently, doesn’t want to find out.
9. You feel guilty
You told a friend that you would not be able to see him on Saturdays now, giving a serious reason, for example, to enroll in some courses. A good friend must accept this because you have a right to your life. A bad friend will react in a way that makes you feel guilty.
10. He reminds you of mistakes
It's okay to blame if you're at fault. But day after day, a good friend should not focus on your shortcomings and remind you of mistakes. Everyone sometimes makes mistakes, mistakes must be accepted, but not dwelling on them, otherwise you can fall into self-hatred and lose the opportunity to develop effectively.
11. He slows you down
A good friend is either neutral on this issue or contributes to your improvement. A bad friend slows you down: directly or indirectly, he laughs at the fact that you love to learn, gets you drunk at a party, takes on weak, instills in you bad habits.
12. He gossips
If you notice that someone else knows what you only told a friend, your friend is a fake and a gossip. If your friend often gossips with you about other people, he may be telling everyone he knows about you too.
It is not always possible for a person to understand that the information you gave him should remain between you. Before you get angry with a friend, talk to him about the situation and indicate when you say what you want to keep secret.
Whatever happens, remember that sometimes people are not aware that there is a problem. Talk to a friend, discuss your concerns, and maybe things will change for the better.